The 10 Commandments for People with no Property Lines

1. thou shall not sneek out when parents are sleeping. (why wait?)
2. thou shall not do drugz. (alcohol last longer)
3. thou shall not steel from k-mart. (Wal*Mart has a bigger selecton)
4. thou shall not get arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect)
5. thou shall not steel from thy parents. (every-1 knows grandma has more money)
6. thou shall not get in fights. (just start them)
7. thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off)
8. thou shall not strip in class. (hooters pays more)
9. thou shall not think about having sex. (as nike says just do it)
10. thou shall not help old ladies cross the street. (just leave them in the middle)

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme BO, fear of being kidnapped
and executed by electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding fifty billion
chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, then that poor six-year-old girl in Arkansas with an arm on her
forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone
you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get a
visit from every Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of crap. So
basically, this message is a big "HEL-LO?!" to all the people out there who
have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and
murder me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by
Jesus in 5A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book
of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to fifty of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some omniscient being forwards about ninety times. I don't care. Show a
little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by
sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down) Make a wish!!!
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>Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
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>Not that, you pervert!!
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>STOP!!!!

Wasn't that fun? :) Hope you made a great wish :) Now, to make you feel
guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096
people in the next 5 seconds, you will be killed by a mad goat and thrown
off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter
isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be P.O.'ed at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be P.O.'ed at you for sending them
a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be P.O.'ed at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter, and may form a death plot on your life.

*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be P.O.'ed at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter and will nuke your house. Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

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Chain Letter Type 2:

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving
little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents,
and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time
you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless
Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we
have absolutely no way of counting the e-mails sent and this is all a
complete load of crap. So go on, reach out. Send this to 15 people in the
next 7 seconds. Oh, and a reminder -- if you don't send this to 14 or 16
people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!

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Chain Letter Type 3:

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as
many sad jerks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works...pass
this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will
happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1

Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently
received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drain pipe in a flood of
poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty,
she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2

Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored
it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some
people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to
eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You Too!!!

Remember, you could end up just like Miranda and Dexter. Just send this
letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

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Chain Letter Type 4

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to all your friends.

FRIENDS:

A friend is someone who is always at your side.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of crap, and your
breath smells like you've been eating cat food.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full
of butts.

A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your
sad, sad life.

A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be killed by mad gorillas, then thrown to vicious dogs.

A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check
and leaves...no, sorry that's the cleaning lady.

A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his
wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never get another
boyfriend/girlfriend again!

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The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave
you friendless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's
funny, send it on. Don't tick people off by making them feel guilty about a
leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27
years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you
forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?

Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you'll find all your
undies missing tomorrow morning.

SHIBBY

SHIBBY,
ok i am going to assume that you were eating as you were typing me this very long, comical email, because I am allowed to assume things, but actually im just assuming that im allowed to assume things. anyways i am grounded from friends for the rest of vacation and i seriously think my mom hired dr. phil as her hit-man because she was like erin after you get done cleaning your room, the basement, and the 2 bathrooms, i would like you to shower, then we can go water your flowers and dickensons but your hair must be dry and then i would like you to write me all the things you think you do for us on a peice of paper and on the other side all the things we do for you. so i cleaned everything, and then i showered and blow dried my hair (might i mention i kept all my comments to myself but there were a few eye motions) and then i took a post it and wrote nothing on one side and everything on the other and she said she didnt tolerate this kind of attitude and i was like i dont do anything but give you attitude because i am a bad bad child and deserve to be sent to a concentration camp with anne frank and die of typhus. so now we arent even going to the boston aquarium and im stuck in this insane house.. my mom is planning to lock me in my room and throw away the key because i saw these weird bars in the garage and i think she is going to bar me in. but thats ok because ill still have my dignity (w/e that means) alert alert * is on teehe, actually im assuming she is on because it could just be her weed smoking, thong buying mother but who knows. ive come to some conclusions
1.) never assume anything because im assuming its bad
2.) never lie especially if you are bad at it
3.) never look dr phil in the eye
4.) never assume just because your mother said you were grounded from friends for the rest of vacation that you are intitled to go online because you are not
now i must be going to put on my bandana and pretend to be cinderella as i clean something thats not meant to be cleaned by me like the chimney or toilet or some other odd task my mother has planned out for me today. im beginning to think she is really cinderellas evil step sisters and mother all in one!
photos for now
god bless you women
SHIBB
ps. PENIS

ERIN,

You know how I don't do well alone. So why havent you responded?! My mom told me i have to do all the dishes. I hate doing the dishes. Ugh. Now my mom as told my brother that im not allowed to do any aim. So he won't stop walking in and checking on me. Did i mention that i hate him too. He makes me want to bash his head in and have the stunt driver from punked actually run him over. 8 times.

Sorry i got a little cp up there but im ok now. i absoulutely refuse to do the dishes. and i forgot about my hunger strike and ate dinner. whoops.

the one and only,

ERIN,

you never told me the exact terms of your groundings. like are you allowed to go online and talk?? any sleepovers? is it a week?

and jesus if they dont tie you down with duct tape i will. ashanti just met the prime minister of turkes and kakos (i was gonna go there once but instead we went to florida with britard) anyway.

im so bored. idk what im gonna do. a whole week!! theres nothing to eat around here. i already had two salads and like this hamburger shit.

did i mention a certain sexy chingy?? number 1 on trl today. looking uber sexyalicious. uber.

ill prolly send another email cause im not finished rambling on and on but my bro wants to use the computer.

call me at like 8ish. if your not at the movies. and the oc is not on tv tonight. thats tomarrow night.

you know you miss me,

the one and only,

ERIN,

WHAT ARE THE TERMS OF YOUR GROUNDINGS?? ARE YOU ALLOWED ONLINE?? CAN YOU TALK ON JUICY??

now that that is out of the way. i know how you feel sista. i mean nigga shit dawg!! like today ive done nothing. i barely remember waking up. can i seriously have spent 12 hours doing nothing?? napping is a good idea. is it possible to have hiccup induced asthma?? cause every time i get the hiccups after like 3 seconds of hiccuping i cant breathe.

maybe its cause i havent seen the light of a sleepover in 12 hours. now i have asthma. can i take my mom to court for that? i cant wait until we speak fluent spanish and we can make fun of them in front of them. and like make plans to meet tom without your mom figuring it out.

email me back

you know you miss me,

the one and only,

Shibby,
si si fluent spanish i love it. o yah and the terms of my grounding are no friends for the rest of vacation. im allowed online and on juicy and on the phone. sorry about my delayed reaction there anyways __ so want you in the pants actually those were his exact words "i want her in the pants" and he seems to have taken a liking to your lower booty except those wernt his exact words they were "ahh yahh ughhh i love her ass" with the moaning and everything.. at that point i hung up on him and he didnt understand that when i say dont call me back my mother is sleeping really means dont call me back my mother is sleeping because every time i said i gotta go bye guys they called back and were like why did you hang up on us. good god they are so dense, wait maybe that is just me because you seem to do the same thing too. actually now that i think about it everyone does. oh and tom said you say hi to me and i say hi back. ok i am typing rather loudly and i dont wanna make mama st helens erupt if you know what i mean. some people just need more beauty sleep then others wink wink
you know you miss me
you know you love me
photo-graphs
Shibb
p.s. tell your people to call my people when your people can actually have sleepovers with my people
p.s.s. is it p.s.s. or p.p.s. ive always wondered about that but either way its kind of weird
p.s.s. reminds me of pms
and p.p.s. reminds me of ppd
idk you decide
p.s.s.s. the damn cat is meowing and hes locking the room under mine so im going to hear him all night and when i said i need noise to go to sleep at night i did not mean an annoying fur ball of a cat! and i thought jesus was my homeboy and would help me through these troublesome shambles!! jesus never let me down before!! and now all at once the leaning tower of piza is upon me!
p.s.s.s.s..s.s.s.s.s.s.s..s.s. poke pop slap
P.S.S.S.S..S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S..S.S.S.S.S.S..S.S make sure your hormonal mother is not here when you scroll down.











below some explict content takes please
parental adivsory is NOT neccessary














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hi mrs hormonal loomass
this is brita ann riley from 41 doe hollow
have jennifers people call erins people
its uber important

good god i need to get a life
ive only been grounded for 11 hours to be exact and im already going insane!!!!!!
lord have mercy on my soul!
nigga shit
i be out like a candle in the rain
pizzeace
S ta da H ta da I ta da B ta da B

ERIN,

omg your out of your mind. ive been grounded for 24 hours and 33 minutes. go me!! only like 288 hours to go (12 days times 24 hours). did you actually go to see big fish nigga shit?

and i think you should humor your parents and dress up in a dirty rag dress and call ur momma the evil mother and morgan the evil stepsister and ask if they need the fireplace swept out. haha i crack myself up sometimes.

anyway i dont know how i am going to survive this month. it makes me wanna cry everytime i think about it.

and lucky for me. i think matt is afraid of my dad so they only called me once. but i was in the middle of watching one tree hill, so i was trying to watch and talk at the same time. then my dad told me to step away from the power tool and go clean my room. which was completely unessesary cause i cleaned it yesterday but then this tornado came through and destroyed all my beautiful work.

im sooo tired. i think i will cut this email short and go to sleep. ill be emailing you all tomarrow cause i have nothing else to do.

you know you miss me,

the one and only,

SHIBBY

ERIN,

omg im so bored and ive only been awake 11 minutes. alex went snowboarding today. katie went tubing. and im stuck here. and i have chosen to watch STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES. the sad part is i might actually enjoy it.

GUESS WHAT!! http://www.fox.com/oc/home.htm!!!! and thank god oliver is finally gone. i mean really. what were the producers thinking when they put that moron on the show??

i need some ice cream. ill email you later

you know you miss me,

the one and only,

ERIN,

tubing sounds like muchos funeros. actually that looks like funeral not fun but oh well. i dont wanna know what mike and brita are gonna do if we arent there to supervise.

and while your over threr napping im here playing sims. let me give you an update; SimMolly (not a dog) pissed in the pool cause i made her go in and then took off the ladder. nigga shit funny if you ask me. SimMolly didnt find it nearly as funny. i tried to build a small house not a monsterous one like all the others. ended up not having enough room in the yard for a pool or tennis court. i think maybe it was the basketball court in the living room that put it over board?? we should be able to make like 300 floors. and put an elevator in. they should really ask me for ideas for the Sims.

give me the details for friday and ill ask my mom. im thinking she just might say yes. and were you the one who gave matt my number?

but tubing can get mighty cold. you may have to carry me back.

you know you miss me,

the one and only,